This 12-month planner is chock-full of feathered friends who aren’t afraid to say the things we’re all secretly thinking. Each weekly spread features vintage bird art paired with some of the most brazen and profane exclamations imaginable. Let these effin’ birds bring you joy, make you laugh, and expand your swear-word vocabulary—all while keeping you organized and on top of your effin’ schedule!   Features include: 7" x 9" (9" x 14" open) Sturdy softcover Printed on FSC certified paper with soy-based ink Ribbon page marker 12-month planner: January–December 2024 Generous grid space for notes, appointments, and reminders Extra pages at back for notes, goals, and more Year-at-a-glance pages for 2023, 2024, and 2025 Includes vintage bird artwork and hilarious commentary Official major world holidays and observations Moon phases, based on Universal Time

Have you ever looked a bird dead in the eye and wondered what it was thinking? With Effin' Birds, the most eagerly anticipated new volume in the noble avocation of bird identification, you can venture into nature with confidence. This farcical field guide will help you identify over 200 birds, but more importantly, for the first time in history, it will also help you understand what these birds are thinking: The vainglorious grebe is acutely aware of its own magnificence. The hipster pelican thinks the world is a shitbarge. The overbearing heron wishes you better luck next time, fucknuts. The counsellor swallow wants you to maybe try not being a dickhead... and many, many more. Alongside beautiful, scientifically accurate illustrations and a whole lot of swearing is incisive commentary on modern life and the world we, as humans, must navigate. Or maybe it's just some pictures of effin' birds, okay?

100 SWEARY TEAR-OUT POSTCARDS TO DELIGHT YOUR NEAREST AND DEAREST, FROM THE CREATOR OF EFFIN' BIRDS Ever since Effin' Birds first appeared on social media, fans have been clamouring for a way to deliver these lavishly illustrated profane messages in the real world. Today is the day that their prayers and DMs are answered: Greetings from Effin' Birds is a book of 100 tear-out postcards, featuring new birds and new jokes, plus 100 absolutely true* Bird Facts that will help you spot these fine avian creatures in your everyday life. The bewildered gander wants to talk about how fucked everything is... The fretful scaup wants to know how long this bullshit is going to take... The rational sheldrake is losing its fucking mind over here... and 97 more! *All 100 Bird Facts are completely untrue.

From the team behind the New York Times bestselling Creepy Carrots! and Creepy Pair of Underwear! comes the third in this hilariously spooky series about a young rabbit and his peculiar encounters—featuring a sinister crayon! Jasper Rabbit has a problem: he is NOT doing well in school. His spelling tests? Disasters. His math quizzes? Frightening to behold. But one day, he finds a crayon lying in the gutter. Purple. Pointy. Perfect. Somehow…it looked happy to see him. And it wants to help. At first, Jasper is excited. Everything is going great. His spelling is fantastic. His math is stupendous. And best of all, he doesn’t have to do ANY work! But then the crayon starts acting weird. It’s everywhere, and it wants to do everything. And Jasper must find a way to get rid of it before it takes over his life. The only problem? The creepy crayon will not leave.

"If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!" --DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Fart and his friends take on a new belly-quaking quest in the hilarious sequel Fart Quest: The Barf of the Bedazzler written by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrated by Cam Kendell. After crushing their very first quest, young adventurers Pan, Moxie, and Fart are hungry for their next challenge. Luckily, the Great and Powerful Kevin has cooked up something for the trio: Locate a bedazzler--a rare and monstrous creature of truly horrific power--and bring back . . . its barf. But the danger in tracking down a bedazzler is hard to swallow. Rumor tells of a ruthless pirate captain who may be the only living soul that knows where to find a bedazzler. Our heroes must head to the high seas for a mission so deadly, they might lose their lives--or their lunch. Bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and Cam Kendell bring even more laughs, adventure, and silliness in The Barf of the Bedazzler, book two in the Fart Quest series.

Another fart-tastic installment in the middle-grade adventure series by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell. The Great and Powerful Kevin has a new quest for our heroes...seek out another disgusting ingredient for his mysterious project. High in the Frostflung Mountains lies the lair of a fearsome dragon named Glacierbane. Pan, Moxie, Fart and TickTock must venture there and fish a dragon-digested object from deep within a pile of dragon doo. But Pan isn't having it. She's not sure why, but she doesn't trust Kevin. But when she learns of a kidnapped prince that needs rescuing from Glacierbane, suddenly this quest seems a whole lot more heroic. Our young heroes will face their toughest challenges yet as they team up with a valiant knight, brave the air-islands of Frostflung, fight yetis and snow goblins, solve puzzles and riddles, face a dragon, and seek the poo they need.

One hour and fourteen minutes later, the chicken is dead (by a steamroller), Rex is cursed (by the Grim Reaper), and wild animals are haunting Rex's room (hounding him for answers). Even his best friend Darvish is not going to believe this, and that kid believes everything. Rex's uninvited ghostly guests are a chatty, messy bunch. And they need Rex to solve their mysterious deadly departures from the Middling Falls Zoo before it happens again. But how?

In this wildly charming and fantastically imaginative story by the New York Times bestselling author of Creepy Carrots and Creepy Pair of Underwear, a young animal expert knows just what to do when she spots her teacher in the wild. Miranda is an animal expert. Or at least, she watches a lot of Nature Joe. Nature Joe is incredible. He rescues animals, returning them to their natural habitat. Mrs. Birdley is a teacher. The natural habitat of a teacher is a classroom. So when Mrs. Birdley escapes school and ends up wild, loose, and confused at the local grocery store, Miranda knows just what to do: she must use her brain, her guts, and her extensive knowledge of Nature Joe to rescue Mrs. Birdley-at any cost! This delightfully over-the-top picture book by newcomer Emma Reynolds explores the weirdness of seeing a teacher outside of school and will have young readers laughing out loud every time they read.

What happens at Nuthatcher Farm when the chickens get tired of the same old chicken feed? The rooster hatches a plan! With a pinch of genius, a dash of resourcefulness, and a little pilfering from the farmer's garden, the chickens whip up a scrumptious snack of chips and salsa. When the rest of the barnyard gets a whiff of the spicy smells and want to join in, it can mean only one thing . . . FIESTA! But when the big day arrives, all their spicy southwestern supplies are gone! Could Mr. and Mrs. Nuthatcher have caught on to the flavor craze?

Nerdy Birdy likes reading, video games, and reading about video games, which immediately disqualifies him for membership in the cool crowd. One thing is clear: being a nerdy birdy is a lonely lifestyle. When he's at his lowest point, Nerdy Birdy meets a flock just like him. He has friends and discovers that there are far more nerdy birdies than cool birdies in the sky. Everything is looking up until a new bird moves into the neighbourhood. She looks lonely. What's a nerdy birdy to do?

Rex Dexter is cursed...with brains...and daring...and more than his fair share of devilish good looks. But also with an actual curse: dead animals keep showing up in his bedroom, wanting him to solve their murders. After successfully sleuthing a series of endangered animal assassinations, Rex is pretty sure he's home free, spiritually speaking. But that's when he finds a two thousand pound narwhal in his beanbag chair. And this tough guy is dead. And super crabby about it. Fishy business is at hand. And as if that's not bad enough, Rex's mom has a stressful new job. His new teacher may be part of a Russian hit squad. His best friend Darvish is distracted by a role-playing game. And, horror of horrors, Rex may accidentally have a girlfriend. Rex Dexter is neck-deep in dead pet problems. And he's determined to solve them. Or let his best friend Darvish die trying.

After their latest quest, Fart, Pan, Moxie, and TickTock return to the Great and Powerful Kevin to claim their reward - a chance for Pan to see her mother, who died many years ago. But bringing back Pan's mum seems impossible. Is Kevin full of hot air? When our heroes sniff out the truth behind his secret plans, a terrifying danger is unleashed, sending the friends on a nail-biting journey. Will their nose for trouble take them down for good? Or will they finally prove that they deserve the sweet smell of success? In this epic conclusion to the first four books in the Fart Quest series, Fart and friends discover that a true hero is not measured in the sum of their mistakes. But in the difference they make in spite of them.

From #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds comes the third hilariously macabre mystery in The Incredibly Dead Pets of Rex Dexter series. My name is Rex Dexter. Yes. THAT Rex Dexter. The one cursed with the ability to see and talk to dead animals. The solver of atrocities against the four-footed. The savior of the flipper-finned. Save your standing ovation for later, because I have bigger things on my mind. Rabbits. Specifically, dead rabbits. And not just anybunny. This particular gaggle of rabbits once belonged to the Astounding Isabel, Middling Falls' foremost birthday party magician. One thing has quickly become clear...somebunny hates magic. Whoever it is, they're attempting to put the Astounding Isabel out of the birthday biz for good. And they're willing to whack a whole lotta bunnies to do it. It's a cold cruel world out there. But don't worry. I'm on the case. And so is Darvish. And Drumstick. And possibly several dozen rabbits. The point is, nobunny pulls one over on Rex Dexter...and his best friend...and his dead chicken. Nobunny.

From New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds comes the latest installment of Caveboy Dave, a middle-grade graphic novel series perfect for fans of Captain Underpants. Twelve-year-old Dave Unga-Bunga is having a great year: he survived his deadly Baby-Go-Boom ceremony, he's earned the respect of the villagers of Bleccchh, and he just invented ice cream and summer vacation. Before the ice cream melts, Dave and his friends spot a plume of smoke on the horizon (could there be others nearby?) and suddenly Shaman Faboo--the glue that holds the community together--goes missing. With no one to tell them what to do or how to think, the village panics and elects Dave as their new leader. If Dave can't find Shaman Faboo and bring him back, he'll be doomed to a life of boredom and something much worse: public service! Not So Faboo, the second book in the Caveboy Dave series, delivers irresistible characters, big thrills, and even bigger laughs.

Imaginese un salon lleno de ninos el domingo, absolutamente cautivados por una ensenanza biblica dinamica. Aqui y alla se encuentra alguien boquiabierto, mientras los chicos intervienen en el relato de Booz y Ruth con el entusiasmo que de modo usual reservan para su flamante Xbox 360. ?No es eso lo que desea como maestro de la escuela dominical? Usted anhela influir en sus alumnos el domingo de manera que en realidad haya un cambio en sus vidas el lunes. ?Pero como? ?Un nuevo libro de trabajos manuales y actividades? No. ?Cinco nuevos iniciadores de conversacion para muchachos y lideres? Tampoco. ?Otro libro de hojas reproducibles para colorear? Ni en suenos. ?Que tal un libro repleto de tecnicas y metodos creativos que conducen a una ensenanza verdaderamente transformacional... del tipo de las que deja a los ninos viviendo una vida diferente el lunes como resultado del tiempo que pasaron con usted el domingo. Fabulosa reinvencion de la escuela dominical es una guia indispensable para la ensenanza transformacional en los ministerios de ninos de todo tamano y ambiente. Produzca excelencia para los ninos mediante cuatro valores que estremecen el ministerio. Emplee tecnicas fabulosas y poderosas que llevan a momentos inolvidables de ensenanza. Consulte un manual verificable de veinte metodos creativos que dan vida a cualquier relato biblico. Disenado con una originalidad caprichosa y escrito con amor y pasion, este libro transformara la manera en que usted -y sus alumnos- experimentan el potencial de la escuela dominical para cambiar la vida.